Rokicki: All I Want for Christmas…

Written by: Nick Rokicki

Pardon a personal post.

For the past nearly two years, my Mother and I have had a very rocky relationship. There have been a mashup of reasons behind it: relationship choices, sibling difficulties, money, lack of communication, disagreement on twists taken in life. We’ve gone months at a time without speaking. And it has hurt both of us.

But during the past couple of weeks, I’ve been lucky enough to have the opportunity to begin a rebuilding of that special relationship between Mother and Son.

As we grow older, it becomes all-too-easy to slip into a cynicism when it comes to Christmastime. I’m guilty of it, for sure. Commercialism. Shopping. Taking yourself into debt to put on a great show or buy the best gift. But last Friday evening, I snapped out of it in an instant. I saw the reason for the season, as the Hallmark slogan goes.

Mom and I resumed a tradition we’ve had on random Friday nights for years: meet at El Vaquero, share a pitcher of margaritas, laugh, tell stories, make drunken memories.  One time, she may have even created a snow angel on the thin strip of grass in front of the restaurant. She’d stop talking to me again if I posted the video.

In the car on the way to drop her off, my mother asked me if there was anything in particular I wanted for Christmas. After giving it a few seconds of thought, for the first time in my life, I told her that I’ve got everything I could possibly want or need. I’ve got an awesome job, the most fun side business a guy could ask for, the best partner I could picture for me, friends, two dogs, a home, food on the table, renewed health through weight loss… I could only wish for everyone else to be as blessed as I am.

All of this wasn’t true just a few weeks ago… because I was missing Mom. But with her simple question last Friday night, she opened my eyes to this special time of year. It creates magic.

Merry Christmas to each one of you. During the next week, take a deep breath, look around… and feel gratitude for what you’ve got.

Mom and I, on a cruise ship a few years back.

Mom and I, on a cruise ship a few years back.

Um, yeah. She had no idea what she was even posing for in this photo.

Um, yeah. She had no idea what she was even posing for in this photo.


Nick Rokicki is author of Children's Books including Pete the Popcorn, Casey and Callie Cupcake and Gilbert the Grasshopper. Upcoming projects include The Nutty Hootenanny. To learn more, visit

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Posted in Christmas, Column, Family, Feels, Life, Motherhood

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Columnist, Writer for Radio Shows across the US & Canada, Promoter, Believer, Father

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